The Apprentice: Solicitors 2, Barristers 0

As someone who has wondered what it would be like for a lawyer to appear on the BBC's 'Apprentice' and has pondered on how long they would last in the boardroom with Sir Alan Sugar (SAS), last night's start to the latest series was very interesting indeed for me.

What made it even better for me, was the fact that he was a trainee barrister! Hurrah for another source of information from which I will be able to decide whether I want to pursue a career as a barrister!

At the begninning of the show after SAS set the task, I immediately thought: the mens team was going to lose. I thought the women would be better prepared to deal with fish and that they would be better sales assistants. And so it dawned: it was becoming increasingly likely that young barrister Nicholas would have to be involved in a confrontation with SAS in the boardroom. Yes! An opportunity to see him use his strong arguing and negotiating skills and, dare I say, perhaps the odd reference to a court convention on dealing with cases.

Well, we got something very different and unforseen, didn't we?

On the positive side:

- after young Nicholas was fired, he made that reference to the fact that if he was defending himslef in court, he would have applied to the court to have the case struck out on the basis that there was no case to answer Yeeesss!

- in a rather hap-hazard fashion, he tried to rely on precedent, didn't he?!
'Sir Alan [Your Lordship], are you aware of the case: Shilpa Shetty v. Big Brother & Jade Goody [2007]? As your Lordship will be able to observe, the claimant in that case was successful in claiming racial harassment against the reality TV show 'Big Brother' and another contestant in it. This can be likened to the present case in which the claimant who is considerably more clever than the yourself and of course his fellow contestants (your Lordship will appreciate my almost perfect academic record - forget anomalous 'B' in GCSE French, the teacher sucked) is similarly being discriminated againist, comprendez?

On the negative side:

- he had the people skills of a stuffed animal

- you can tell that this was a person who has spent a huge part of his life trying to be someone that he isn't

- he uses his, otherwise highly commendable, academic achievements to disguise the fact that he knows and can do considerably less than he says he knows and can do

You know, I'm not entirely convinced that this guy is a trainee barrister. I think he is a con-artist. Quite literally! His website suggests that he is a very talented artist. I think he faked his C.V. to get on the Apprentice and was hoping for a crash-and-burn exit so that he could attract more people to his art exhibitions when they would subsequently try searching for him on the internet.

Anyway, that makes it Solicitors 1 Barristers 0, so far. A Nicholas own-goal if you will.

The best negotiating that I saw last night was when half of the men's team visited a solicitor firm and tried to sell fish there. I thought the solicitor was very good at being clear of the price that we was willing to purchase the fish at. And I loved how he just grabbed hold of his oppoent's hand and started fiercely pumping it whilst telling him the terms of their agreement: '£50, do you hear me? £50 for the whole lot! Not £120. Not £100. Just £50! Do we have a deal? GOOD!'

So there we have it: Solicitors 2 Barristers 0.