Showing posts with label humour. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humour. Show all posts

Tuesday, 1 July 2008

Obama to visit the UK

Very exciting news. As part of a tour of Europe and the Middle East, Barack Obama will be stopping off in the UK too. Yipppeee! The trip will be taking place in the next few weeks - before the Democratic National Convention, I think. I imagine it will be his last stop on the way back from Afghanistan (probably) and Iraq (probably) and Europe.

Maybe if I stand outside the entrance to Downing St long enough on the right day I will get a glimpse of my idol.

This is exciting!

Sunday, 15 June 2008

21 and a 2:1 !



Soon I will find out my final, third year, set of exam results. They are out middle of next week. Of course, until I see what I have got, I have absolutely no idea how I have done. One does get feelings that they performed well in this exam and bad in that one. However, its all relative, isn't it? In past years' exams, I've performed better in exams that I thought were rather difficult. And, in exams that I thought I had aced, I hadn't performed as well in. The reason for this phenomenon - as I understand it - is that, for tougher exam questions, one is forced to think harder and answer with more analysis. Analysis gets rewarded; rambling at length - which occurs when you do know what you're talking about - doesn't get rewarded.

Today I am celebrating my 21st birthday with some family and friends. What better thing to take my mind off these upcoming exam results than a reason to party...hard :)

Interestingly, for a lot of my balloons which I imagine will be still around in the next few days, I will be able to insert a ":" symbol between the digits to celebrate achieving a 2:1. Bet no one thought of that, did they?!

Wednesday, 11 June 2008

The Apprentice: Why Helene will win!

So this is the day. The final of this year's The Apprentice. Once again, there's a lacklustre field of candidates for Sir Alan to choose from; perhaps even the most lacklustre ever. Which begs the question: what are four of them doing in the final? Well, for one, it makes the decision that bit easier for Sir Alan. One team will be automatically fired for losing that means one less decision for Sir Alan to make.

Accordingly, I am going to make a prediction about who will win tonight. The teams, if I recall the clip shown at the end of last week's episode, puts Helene and Alex in one team and Claire and Lee in the other.

The consensus seems to be that Claire is the strongest candidate. I agree. My first prediction is that either Claire or Helene will win. Its not going to be one of the lads in my opinion. Lee's unemployable because he lied last week but also because he's a terrible person to be around. He speaks and writes (as we saw with regards to his C.V. last week) in a terrible fashion and this, for me, is what would make him a terrible person to hire. As for Alex, I have a feeling that unless he pulls of a spectacular performance tonight, he won't win. He's been on the losing team a lot of times and more often than not it has led to a confrontation in the boardroom with Sir Alan. I think he's fed up with him. I think he doesn't like him too.

That leaves Claire and Helene. Now for who I want to win: Helene. Helene is my favourite Apprentice because I think she has the best C.V. and I think she's the most capable of being a success and, I believe she wants the job too. I absolutely understand her when she said in her interview last week that she's not use to being around 15 other gobshites!

Because Lee is so incompetent, I think his team will lose. Unfortunately, therefore, I don't think that Sir Alan will even get the opportunity to hire Claire. Rules are rules. She will have lost not because she wasn't good enough; but because she worked with an incompetent prick.

That leaves Sir Alan with the opportunity to hire or fire Helene or to hire or fire Alex. Helene, for the reasons I have given, will be hired; Alex, for the reasons I have given, will be fired. It will be a tough choice and probably the wrong one; but this is how I believe it will play out.

UPDATE
Well, seems I got it all wrong and Android got it 100% right. Lee - whom I thought would perform terrible and have no chance whatsoever - still performed terrible but crucially not as terrible as some of the other candidates. Both my predictions were wrong: that either Claire or Helene would win and that it was more likely to be Claire because Lee's contribution was likely to lose the task for his team. I was right to an extent though: Alex/Helene would have won if they managed to keep their costs down. Both sides seemed to be carefree about the cost of their perfume. I don't recall Lee/Claire stressing over it. Also, how terrible was their 'Roulette' brand. Lee/Claire's team squeaked through because the other side lost, not because they won. It would have been very interesting to see what Sir Alan would have done with Alex/Helene. I stick to my guns though: he would have hired Helene.

Well done, of course, to Android who guessed correctly that Lee would win, after previously watching only one episode of The Apprentice in the current series. I'm ashamed to say that I watched every single episode (no really, I did) and appear to be no better because of it. Interestingly, not only did Android guess they winner correctly, but also for the right reasons. Android, probabaly in response to the pterodactyl imitation that Lee did last week, thought that he would win because he was a funny guy. The other candidates seem to have found this to be the case too - this is probably what kept him out of a single boardroom confrontation with Sir Alan.

Unfortunately, some would say, Nicholas De-Lacey Brown did not appear either to help the finalists in their last task or on Adrian Chiles' 'The Apprentice: you're fired/hired'. It was because of a, some would say, terrible accident that the first-to-be-fired Apprentice recently had. The Sun says that he was involved in a freak (some would say) accident that crushed his leg. Its hoped that he gets better soon (some would say). I imagine, though, that once he's all nicely recovered, he'll be bringing a claim in tort against the lorry driver/the owner of the wall. I hope he wins that claim (some would say). I hope his career doesn't suffer a set back because of the accident (some would say).

Tuesday, 10 June 2008

Crap Cannon: it does exactly what is says on the tin!

A couple of interesting post-election news stories involving the Democrats that I've been reading about. One quite serious; the other highly amusing.

On a serious note: Vice-President selection. A potentially tough choice for both Obama and McCain. More so for McCain, I believe.

On the Democrats' side, there's the obvious choice of Hillary Clinton. The main strength in selecting Clinton is that Obama will have gone some way to reconnecting with the 18 million Americans that voted for Clinton in the recent Primaries. The weakness - which I (unfortunately) believe counteracts that strength - is that selecting Clinton is highly indicative that Obama isn't so resolute on bringing change to American politics.

The first news story that I've been reading about suggests that Obama is keen to select a running-mate based upon their military credentials. Obviously, McCain has the advantages for appealing to a lot of Americans in this regard because of his own heroic military history. Jim Webb, it appears, is top of Obama's list. He's my favourite because I think he will help Obama a lot in the General.

The second news story that I've been reading about is the planned method of crowd control during the Democrats' National Convention in Denver. The weapon to be used is called the "crap cannon" or the "brown note" - "crap cannon" is the better description, I think. It does exactly what it says on the tin!

"it is believed to be an infrasound frequency that debilitates a person by making them defecate involuntarily"

So, if I've gotten this right, the plan is: disperse of a rowdy bunch of people by making them shit themselves on the spot. Yeah, that should do the trick. A question though: who's going to be doing the cleaning up afterwards?

Friday, 4 April 2008

Tort Law anthem

Revision has progressed steadily thus far this week. I am finding it quite difficult to concentrate on revision when my dissertation deadline is so soon. My attention has also been diverted by a YouTube clip on Tort Law that was recently brought to my attention. Its absolutely hilarious and so I thought I would share it with my blawg-readers.
The actual clip starts at about 1min 20secs if you want to skip right to it as there are a lot of acknowledgments at the beginning. Enjoy.